We choose our Mirror
A colleague recently taught me that you can actually have a proper conversation with one of these technological platforms. Naturally, he said, “Ask it to tell me about you.” Then he added, “Now ask it to warn me about you.” I thought it would be funny, so I did.
The response sounded something like this:
Marilé is the Head of Operations in FinTech, but that is only her title. She is a natural leader who walks into a space and immediately notices what can be better for people and systems. She is strategic and creative, carries responsibility deeply and leads with conviction. She is also a pastor, so her faith shapes everything. She wants people to heal, grow and step into who they really are. She will stand for people, challenge them, laugh with them and expect them to take ownership. She loves her family, community and work deeply.
Then came the supposed warning.
Do not underestimate how much she notices. She picks up tone, inconsistency, atmosphere, gaps in a process and what people are not saying. Do not confuse her kindness with passivity. She is compassionate but has strong convictions. She gives grace and second chances, but repeated excuses frustrate her. She expects people to take responsibility. And if she believes in someone, she will see more in them than they may see in themselves and keep calling them higher.
The conclusion was basically this: she is lovely, but come honest, come teachable, do your job properly, communicate and do not play games, and you will be absolutely fine.
I am still wondering where the “warning” is…
I laughed when I read it, but then I read it again and realised something important. Even the warning was flattering. There was nothing in it that made me stop and repent. Nothing that exposed a motive I needed to surrender. Nothing that confronted something in my heart that needed to change. Nothing that required me to die to myself. Even my potential weaknesses had been reframed as admirable strengths.
Being intense became discernment. High expectations became leadership. Noticing inconsistency became perceptiveness. Strong convictions became courage. Even the difficult parts of me were presented in a way that still left me feeling rather good about myself.
That is where this becomes far more serious than an amusing conversation with technology, because we are surrounded by mirrors that are very good at giving us back versions of ourselves that we are comfortable looking at.
The role of Technology
Technology can do it. Social media can do it. Personality assessments can do it. Friends can do it. Even Christian environments can do it when encouragement becomes detached from truth. We can surround ourselves with voices that continuously tell us we are gifted, strong, discerning, called, misunderstood, deep, prophetic, strategic, wounded but brave, and still never deal with pride, fear, selfishness, offence, unforgiveness, control, jealousy, disobedience or the places where our character does not look like Jesus.
We can become very self-aware without ever becoming Christlike.
That is why the Word must remain our mirror. James writes, “But be doers of the Word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the Word and not a doer, he is like a man observing his natural face in a mirror and when he looks away, forgets what he looks like.” (James 1:22–23 NKJV).
The Mirror of Scripture is different…
The mirror of Scripture does something that flattering reflections cannot do. It tells the truth. It does not only tell me what is beautiful in me. It reveals what is crooked. It does not only affirm my gifts. It examines how I am using them. It does not only tell me I am loved. It teaches me how someone who is loved by God should live. It does not only remind me of my identity in Christ. It confronts everything in me that is still resisting the nature of Christ.
A natural mirror does not adjust the reflection to protect our feelings. If something is out of place, the mirror shows it. We may not like what we see, but the mirror has served us by showing us what is true. The Word does the same thing at a far deeper level. Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the Word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two edged sword… and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”
That is completely different from technology analysing patterns in our language and behaviour.
Technology may be able to identify tendencies, but the Word exposes intent.
There is a difference between someone saying, “You have strong convictions,” and the Holy Spirit asking whether conviction has become pride. There is a difference between being told, “You notice everything,” and the Word asking whether what you call discernment has sometimes become suspicion. There is a difference between being praised for expecting excellence and having Jesus reveal that impatience has crept into the way you treat people.
There is a difference between being described as strong and having God show you where strength has become self-reliance. There is a difference between being told that you challenge people to grow and having the Lord ask whether you are as willing to be corrected as you are willing to correct somebody else.
That is what a real mirror does.
This is what we lose when every voice around us is designed, whether deliberately or simply through the way we use it, to make us feel better about ourselves. We can begin to mistake affirmation for growth, but they are not the same thing.
There is a place for encouragement. Scripture is full of encouragement. God speaks identity over His children. He reminds us that we are loved, chosen, forgiven and redeemed. He strengthens us, restores us and speaks hope. But the same Word that says there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ also tells us to put to death the deeds of the flesh. The same Jesus who restored Peter also confronted him. The same Lord who said, “Neither do I condemn you,” also said, “Go and sin no more.”
Grace does not remove repentance. Grace makes repentance possible.
David understood this when he prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23–24 NKJV). That prayer is very different from asking something to describe you. David did not ask God to tell him what was impressive about him. He invited God to search what he could not see himself.
That is a dangerous prayer if we only want affirmation, but it is a beautiful prayer if we want transformation.
The problem with the flattering mirrors in life
The problem with flattering mirrors is not merely that they make us feel good. The greater danger is that they can make us feel finished. If every weakness is reframed as a strength, why would I change? If every difficult part of my character is explained away as personality, why would I repent? If every conflict can be attributed to the fact that I am simply “too discerning,” “too deep,” “too strong,” “too honest” or “too passionate,” then I never have to ask the far harder question: Lord, is there something in me that needs to die?
That question matters because Christianity is not the endless discovery of a more flattering version of ourselves. It is a life of surrender, repentance, transformation and becoming more like Christ.
Jesus said, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24 NKJV). That is very different from the language of self-celebration. Following Jesus means forgiving when we do not feel like forgiving, blessing those who hurt us, loving our enemies, serving when nobody notices, repenting when we are wrong, confessing sin, humbling ourselves and obeying when obedience costs us something.
The mirror of the Word does not always flatter us, but it frees us.
Paul writes, “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory” (2 Corinthians 3:18 NKJV).
This is the heart of the Mirror series.
We do not look into the Word merely to discover ourselves. We look into the Word to behold Jesus. As we see Jesus more accurately, we begin to see ourselves more accurately too.
His holiness exposes what we have excused. His gentleness confronts our harshness. His humility exposes our pride. His courage confronts our fear. His obedience exposes our compromise. His compassion challenges our indifference. His forgiveness reveals the places where we are still holding something against someone…
And the Holy Spirit does not leave us standing there ashamed of the reflection. He changes us. Romans 12:2 tells us that we are transformed by the renewing of our minds.
Transformation begins when truth replaces the stories we have believed about ourselves. Some of those stories are negative. We may believe that we are worthless, that we will never change or that nobody could love us. The Word destroys those lies. However, some of the stories we need freedom from are flattering.
We may tell ourselves, “I am just a strong personality,” or “I am only reacting because I care so deeply,” or “People struggle with me because I see things they do not see.” We may say, “I am not controlling. I simply have high standards,” or “I am not offended. I just have good boundaries.”
Perhaps some of that is true. But perhaps some of it is not.
Marilé Strauss
The mirror of the Word invites us to stop defending ourselves long enough for God to search us.
That is why every description of ourselves must eventually be laid before Jesus. Every personality profile. Every compliment. Every criticism. Every social media response. Every technological analysis. Every sentence beginning with, “This is just who I am.”
First Thessalonians 5:21 says, “Test all things; hold fast what is good.” If something encourages you, receive what is true, but do not build an identity around flattering words. If something challenges you, do not automatically reject it because it makes you uncomfortable. Ask the Holy Spirit whether it is true. Ask Him whether there is something you need to repent of, something you keep calling personality that He is calling you to surrender, something you keep defending that He is trying to heal, or something you have accepted as “just who I am” that does not look like Jesus at all.
That is where real growth happens.
Technology can tell me that I am strategic, perceptive, compassionate, strong and deeply committed to people. Some of that may be true, and I can receive it with gratitude.
But I refuse to allow a technological platform to become my mirror, because if it only tells me what makes me feel good about myself, it cannot take me where Jesus wants me to go.
Marilé Strauss
The Real Mirror
I need the Word to tell me when I am wrong. I need the Holy Spirit to convict me. I need Jesus to confront what does not look like Him. I need grace that does more than comfort me. I need grace that changes me. I need a Mirror that loves me enough to tell me the truth.
Social media cannot be that mirror.
Technology cannot be that mirror.
People cannot be that mirror.
Even my own opinion of myself cannot be that mirror.
Jesus is the standard, and His Word is the mirror.
The goal is not to leave the mirror impressed with ourselves. The goal is to keep looking until the life we are living begins to look more and more like the One we are beholding.
What has this blog unlocked in your heart and thoughts? Let us know. Let’s learn from each other, stop pretending to have it all together and be real about where we truly are. Growth begins when we are honest about where we really are… Will you take the bold step, trust Jesus as your Mirror, and face the Truth?
You are not alone. This is for all of us. This Scripture in the Word isn’t just for a few of us, it is for ALL of us. And the best thing to know through this process is Jesus’ own words after He spoke the all-important words of the Great Commission in Matthew 28. He said “… and lo, I am with you always.” Jesus Himself is with us as we look to Him as our Mirror, and He shows us, comforts us, and strengthens us to become more and more like Him.
Thank You Jesus!
Living Words. Changing Hearts. Be a Wildfire.
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